Dear MAx,
Recently there was big layoff at the business I have worked at for five years. Many of the employees that were laid off had been here a lot longer then I have been here. I considered several of these people to be more then fellow employees, they were my friends. I love my job and I appreciate that I still have it and the income that comes with it. But, I am finding it harder to come into work and have a good attitude while I am here. How can I change these feelings of guilt?
Bonnie
Dear Bonnie,
Sounds like you are suffering as part of the ‘survivor guilt’ epidemic that is presently sweeping the globe. While millions of people have been losing their jobs, millions of other people are left behind to continue working. This malady can leave you with feelings of both relief and anger; it may leave you confused and, even disoriented.
Unemployment in the U.S. has hit double digits in many areas. In November, 2008, Michigan was taking the greatest hit due to the problems the auto industry was having. Other complications in the economy, including bank failures, have also contributed to industries closing, and people losing their jobs. This trickle down affect is felt in just about every business in the country, and many other places around the world.
Opinions are that we are in the worse economical shape since the great depression era. Politicians scurry to come up with a plan to readjust the direction the economy has been going for almost two years. Their efforts, no matter how accurate, will take time to implement and change the downtown in the economy. Meanwhile, people will continue to loose their jobs, and those left behind will be torn with guilt.
There is a progression to the guilt that manifests: feelings of relief that you get to stay; realization that with less people YOU get to do more work for the same, or less money; and, finally, feelings of not feeling appreciated.
Dealing with any loss is a process that involves denial, bargaining, anger, sadness/depression, and acceptance. It is said that experiencing the process of loss is like being in a graduate program of life. If you allow yourself to experiencing each phase of the loss cycle, you will come out of it a stronger person.
In my Moving On workshop, which includes an entire day of grief and loss work, I suggest to my participants that in their deepest despair of their loss they institute the airline oxygen rule: When the oxygen drops down during an emergency, it doesn’t matter who is sitting next to you, you put the oxygen on yourself first. You need to be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.
Bonnie, to help you get through the feelings of survivors guilt that you are having, be sure that you take care of yourself: talk about what you are feeling. Be sure to get rest, eat right, exercise, and drink a lot of water. Set good boundaries at work as far as taking on more then you can handle. When talking to your laid-off friends, listen and acknowledge their experience, but don’t take their problems on as your own.
During these difficult economic times we are like rocks in a tumbler that are tossed to and fro, and we are getting bruised. But, as in other recessions, we will end up coming out more polished and valuable than ever. Just hang in there and believe that there are better times coming!
____________________________________________________________________________
“ASK MAx” is published weekly in the Springfield Times, Springfield, OR http://www.springfieldtimes.net/. Subscriptions for the paper is only $28/year mailed to your home!
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to askmaxcolumn@yahoo.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.
No comments:
Post a Comment