Reprinted
from SPRINGFIELD TIMES,
Eugene, OR
Dear MAx,
I met the most fantastic woman
while training for a marathon.When we completed the marathon I knew she was
“the one”. I was devastated when she broke up with me because, she said, I was
a “normie” and her sponsor told her that she wasn’t ready for a
relationship—particularly with a ‘normie”. What?!! What is a “normie”?
Sean
Dear Sean,
One of the earliest definitions
of the word “normie” was to describe anyone that did not have a diagnosis of a
mental illness. The word is commonly used in 12-step meetings to describe
people that have no clue about addiction and/or their process of recovery.
According to a recent article by
Carole Bennett, MA, in The Huffington Post: “Normal, daily stressors that the
"normie" might take in stride can turn into monumental issues of such
a catastrophic nature that their coping devices are non-existent or too early
in their infancy to deal with the situation at hand.”
Human beings have a “flight and
fight” brain mechanism that prompts them to do one or the other when they think
they are in danger.
“Normies” are usually triggered
to “fight” because they have the ability and skills to work (fight) through the
ups and downs of life experiences.
Recovering people, on the other
hand, are triggered to “flight”: “…monumental hurdles to the alcoholic/addict
and life on life's terms can be so daunting and overwhelming, their thinking
tells them to bail at whatever cost.” The scientific explanation of this
reaction is explained by the disruptions of neuro-pathways that generate states
of well-being. The “flight” is the by-product of the brain’s inability to
process stressful situations.
Most people know that “detox” is
the necessary beginning for someone dependent on alcohol and/or other drugs.
This is the period of time that toxins are freed from the body. The common time
period used by treatment centers is approximately six weeks. In actuality,
depending on the length of use, and other simultaneous chemical abuse, it could
take the body up to two years to detox; up to five if methamphetamine
dependence is a factor.
Once someone is stabilized in
their addiction, usually by a 12-step program, they may be prone to
experiencing post-acute withdrawal symptoms that can linger for weeks, months,
or years. This is an indicator that the recovering person needs to supplement
their “recovery” to individualized treatment.
Twelve-step programs are
incredibly successful supporting total abstinence, which is what an addict
needs –particularly in the early stages of recovery. “The Big Book of
Alcoholics Anonymous” reminds program participants that the program is to be
used in cooperation with other “professionals in their community”. These
professionals include therapists, clergy, and physicians.
Individualized treatment allows
the recovering person the opportunity to identify and change “using” behaviors,
learn skills to confidently interact with “normies”, and to continue their
quest for a healthier lifestyle. When seeking a qualified addiction counselor,
life coach, be sure they are certified for addiction treatment.
As for you, Sean, attending
Alanon will provide any “normie” with the information and insight they may need
for being in a committed relationship with a recovering person.
“If you judge people, you have no
time to love them.” Mother Teresa.
Glad we
talked about this. Of course, it is just my
opinion.
Be well on your insightful
journey.
_____________________________________________________________________
Have a question about
addiction, recovery, or other life transitions: ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions
to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your
questions to: maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com
_____________________________________________________________________________
LIFESTYLE CHANGES
COUNSELING SERVICES
MA FABRY COUNSELING
105 W. “Q” Street,
Springfield, OR 97477
Mail: PO Box 1962,
Eugene, OR 97440
541-510-2548 maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com
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